The Mondays

     Am I the only person that feels like every Monday that rolls around, and I have a whole new list of things to do or that the goals from last week seem to drag into every other new week? I know I can't be. Just know that you're not alone. I too, am in a perpetual race to get my proverbial shit together. Here's the cool part: every Monday is really an opportunity to start over again. Stop giving Monday's such a bad rap! Instead, instead embrace every Monday for what is; A "do over". Make a commitment today that you're going to get your shit together too. The next Monday's going to be different. That you won't wake up with the same dread that you did today, and that come from the first Monday in 2016, you will have accomplished a few things. So let's toast to Monday's! (No vodka this early. Try coffee instead. Mmmmkay) Cheers!

Showers are for sissies!

So it's Saturday. 

And other than looking in the mirror this morning to brush my teeth (barely), I have not done anything "personal" since Thursday night. 

Gross. 

I know.

I didn't consciously NOT shower. I literally didn't have time. Even when I realized that I'd gone into "B.O. Overtime" at 6:00 a.m., I knew that I had hungry babies to feed, a group to meet, and work to do.   A shower would have to wait. 

Again.

The thing is; I know that I'm not alone. A lot of moms find themselves too busy to do the basics because they just don't have time. The worst part, is when we do have time to ourselves, we wind up doing asinine tasks like dishes and scrubbing floor boards!

"Oh look! I have 10 minutes to myself! I should definitely use it to load the dishwasher. "

This literally happened to me today. The baby was finally asleep, I find myself with a killosecond of free time and I found myself looking at this:

Sick. 

I know, but midway through loading plates with half eaten Mac and cheese and mugs of chocolate milk (because; Who rinses?!), I realized that I could walk away from the sink and do something for myself for just a change. That the dishes could wait. That, dammit, I smelled like a billy goat.

I took a shower...

And that's ok. 

In fact: It's all ok. Don't feel like you're the only mom who doesn't look like a super model, and smell like fresh lilies. Don't feel like a failure if you have dishes in the sink, and don't beat yourself up if you feed your kids non-organic, non-free range, gluten filled pizza.

It's ALL ok. 

Take a few minutes for yourself everyday. Even if it's just a hot shower. Just remember that you aren't the only mom who forgets about her needs while caring for her families.

💚

RIOT

ON BALTIMORE:

I understand the anger.

 I am angry too. 

How many lost lives can one community handle without become enraged? 

How many injustices can one group suffer without looking for some recompense?

Now listen; I do NOT agree with the violence. It makes no sense to me. 

It's reckless and self harming.

It's unorganized and misdirected. 

It's dark and its leaving behind destruction that community  themselves will have to suffer through later, but let me ask a question: 

Have you ever seen a mother that has just lost a child respond to her grief? Have you ever watched them scream and cry and beg, and when that doesn't work, fly into a rage so incredible, that only a hurricane rivals their damage? 

It is reckless and self harming.

It's unorganized and misdirected. 

It is dark and lonely and will leave behind more disrepair. 

NO ONE  believes that these riots, that this immense outcry of anger, or that this damage will solve ANYTHING.

This is the result an entire people reacting to their grief. 

This is a nation tired of burying it's sons and daughters and having no one held accountable for their loss.

This is a battle cry for justice out of pain DECADES in the making. 

This is the language of the unheard, the grieving mothers, the forgotten.

It doesn't make sense.

It isn't supposed to. 

💚

Eating frogs.

     Everyone wants to be successful. 

The issue of actually accomplishing succes is two fold, IMO. 

1. People don't know exactly what they need to do to get there. 

2. People aren't willing to do what needs to be done in order to accomplish it.

     Lets use the issue of weightloss in this post just to illustrate my point. It's hands down, the most difficult "problem" of our society to overcome. We live in a nation where more than 1/3 of its constituents are obese. According to the CDC, approximately 78 MILLION people in the greatest nation on earth, are not just overweight, but seriously obese. It doesn't really make sense if you think about it. How does a country full of financial and knowledge wealth, also maintain the worlds largest population of overweight adults and children? Is it because we are all genetically predisposed to obesity? Is it because there aren't enough food choices where we live? Or maybe it's simply because there isn't time to eat healthily, exercise, or meal plan. Whatever the issue it seems we are trying to overcome, there are always excuses for why we simply can't overcome them, but if you were to ask me, the true cause and solution are far more simple than most people really want to believe. 

    It's far easier to give a a scientific or socioeconomic explanation for failure than it is to do what it takes to be successfully. So what is it? What exactly are people at the top doing that's so much different from the rest of us? I'm going to make it very simple.

     Here it is: Short and sweet. In fact, I really am just going to cut it down to two very easily understandable solutions. Number 1: What exactly needs to be done to be successful? The answer: Reduce the minutae. I'm laymans terms: Cut the bullshit/the crap/the "extra" out of your life. My father, who is a minister preached a sermon this past Sunday that I wasn't able to hear (he lives 2300 miles away). Fortunately his words were so powerful, they carried themselves through social media directly to my ears. His message was simple: Your productivity is directly related to your ability to reduce the minutiae in your life.  Number 2: You must be willing to do what other people aren't willing to do in order to achieve your goal. The issue with part two, is that we are inherently lazy creatures who are constantly searching for the easiest and the fastest way to get what we want. Success doesn't work that way. There is a reason CEOs are usually first to rise in the morning, and last to hit the bed at night, and I assure you it has nothing to do with insomnia.

So let's see these two simple steps in action, shall we? 

     Going back to one of our nations greatest failures, weightloss, let's set aside excuses and find a way to succeed. 1. Reduce minutiae: Cut out unnecessary eating. Lunch with the girlfriends, fast food, junk food, mindless snacking, and alcohol are all (however enjoyable) completely unnecessary. Eat and drink what you need to live. Forget about fad diets. In the long run, you will never maintain a low carbohydrate, gluten free, south beach, diet while injecting b vitamin shots into your arm once a week and holding human chorionic gonadotropin drops under your tongue for the next 30 years! It's impossible. Eat what you need to survive and thrive and forget everything else. Part two: Do what unsuccessful people aren't willing to do. In this case, it's exercise. I know you didn't really want to hear that, because frankly, I don't either. The mere thought of heading to the gym after writing this post, makes me sweat profusely and break out in hives. The only way to get it done, is to "Just do it!" I read an amazing book by, Brian Tracy, called, "Eat that Frog!". The premise was incredible, and incredibly simple. He urges readers to cut their "to do" list short, and simply to do the most arduous task first. For me, it's exercise. There will never be a point where I just LOVE the gym. I'm not that girl. The point he made is this: If, in order to accomplish your goal, you have to eat a live frog everyday, it makes perfectly good sense to do that first. Don't wait till the evening when you've had it looming over your head all day. Get the worst part finished, so that, not only are you free from thinking about it all day, but you actually get it accomplished. Think about how awesome you feel when you FINISH a workout, especially early in the morning. It sets the tone for the rest of the day. 

     I use weightloss as an example here because it plagues so many of us, but in reality, these premises can be used in any area that you struggle with. Cut out the shit, and eat your frog FIRST. Don't make success any harder than it really is. Don't push it back any farther because you refuse to make it simple.

     Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get to the gym. I'll respond to any emails regarding this post when the most important things in my list are finished. See how that works? 😉 Bon appetite!

Shut up already!

    I used to be a whiner. Yeah me. (Insert sarcastic eye roll here). It's shameful, yes, but the great thing about being an ex member of this loathesome group, is the simple fact that it's much easier to recognize current members.

     Now don't get me wrong: I occasionally whip out my worn and tattered "Whiners Club of America" card and galivant with newbies, but for the most part, I've given up all membership privileges and perks. For me, the dues simply weren't worth the cost to my success.

     Here's the thing: SUCCESSFUL people don't whine often. Losers do. It's pretty simple to understand, but in an effort to get as many of you as possible to relinquish (or at least put away) your club cards, I am willing to go a little deeper. I've had the luxury of keeping the company of some very successful and some very wealthy people. Wanna know what these people complain about? Not much. In fact, I can only think of one complaint that regularly reverberates amoung them. I won't keep you guessing. It's this; "I'm so fucking tired." Yep. Even that one is seldom heard. 

     Successful people have too much shit to do with not enough hours in the day. They don't have much time to sit around perusing Facebook for the latest "issue" to piss them off. They don't have have time for quarreling and "drama". They don't have time to worry about much at all, because they are too busy finding solutions to the crap that so many other people are sitting around crying about. Their biggest complaint is that they exhausted from being so ridiculously awesome. 

    So there you have it folks. You can have everything you want out of life if you spend less time complaining and more time doing shit. 

Here's a start: Turn in your membership card.

Gettin' Er Done!

     Life is not easy. Not by a long shot. Sometimes it feels like you're traveling up the same hill, over and over again, (a very  slippery, muddy hill), with a booty full of diarrhea. Sometimes it feels as if the easiest solution would be to, slide back down, take a poop right there at the bottom, and wallow in it forever. That's better than continuously failing right?

     I've been there. Trust me. I can't tell you how many moments I've thought, "Wow, this is never going to change!" The great thing though is, for me, those are fleeting moments. They pass quickly because I remember that there is nothing I can't do or have if I want it. Sure, I've failed, but I'm crazy enough to keep trying. Sure I've made mistakes, but I know how to move past them and keep going. The amazing and most inspiring thing as that for every moment I've had that awful thought, I've had a moment soon after where I looked back, amazed that I'd done the very thing I had doubted. Every. Single. Time.

     Here's the trick: As long as you keep trying something, anything, especially if you keep using different approaches, you can't keep failing. Can't get up the hill? Go around! The relationship isn't working out? Fix it (or move on). Diet keeps failing? Stop dieting and change your life style. Don't like your job? Start training for a new career.  The solutions aren't always easy, but there is always a solution. Just don't stop. As far as I'm concerned, there is no thing that can not be overcome, and frankly; I'd rather look like the fool clinging desperately to the side of a mountain top still reaching for my goal, than to be surrounded by a bunch of soggy-pants whiners sitting in the valley. 

     Whatever you are reaching for, keep striving for it. There is nothing holding you back but yourself. Get it done, by any means necessary. 💜

Gifts

A lesson:

Once, my grandmother gave me a compact. 

It was absolutely beautiful. Cool, shinning, perfect yellow brass embellished with scarlet cloisonné sparrows. I had never seen one anything so perfect. 

At the time, it was probably 50 years  old.  I told myself that I would never let it out of my sight. That even 50 years from then, I would be handing it down to my own grandchild with that same illuminated smile stretched across my face.  

I can still see her pressing it into my right hand and as I reached up to clasp it with my  left, she leaned down and gently held my palms together with the compact nestled between us. "Take care of this", she said. "They don't make these anymore. It's very special, and I saved it for you." I stared down at the now warm gift in my hand and promised that I would. 

The years passed and the compact lost it's shine from being thrown into my makeup bag among my generic drugstore finds. Later the mirror inside cracked  after it found its way into the bottom of my book bag and into a gym locker. I shuddered a bit inside when I saw that crack; Remembering my grandmothers words and the way my heart had once leapt at the sight of those ruby sparrows glistening in my hand. 

Soon after, I remembered the shattered gift at the bottom of my bag. Stained, tarnished, and damaged from my carelessness. I decided to dig it out, and repair it the best my hands, now 20 and a bit wiser, could manage. 

I searched every bag. 

I dumped out every container, and even traversed my schools "lost and found" looking for that compact. 

It was gone.

 It's been 16 years since I first laid eyes on that gift. 12 years since the last time I saw it in its damaged condition, and 13 months since the death of my grandmother.  

I'm still not over my carelessness. My inability to see, respect, and care for my priceless gift. Now, I search every antique store, every yard sale, and estate auction hoping to find something as perfect as those enameled birds and their crimson eyes glittering  in a sea of gilded metal; and to this day, I have never seen another one like it. Not even close.

Some gifts, I suppose, are once in a lifetime. 💜